Spanking Letters - Volume
Thirty-Two |
Readers Note: These letters are all real. The actual identities, parts of stories and names are disguised. I post letters so that we can share with each other and not feel so alone in our passion for spanking. These letters can be helpful for you to learn from the experiences of others. Rest assured that your email to me is strictly confidential. If you DO NOT
want me to post a letter (even in disguise) please tell me. Your limits, boundaries
and discretion are always my first priority. I thank all of you in advance for
your thoughtful and insightful emails. Together we can learn from each other. Dear Jacqueline, For me, spankings represent something nurturing and very fulfilling. What I would like to know is why some psychologists determine spanking as a form of deviant behavior or sexual problem?
HI Rose, This study is about the effect that spanking has on early childhood development. Perhaps you are reacting to the fact that these reports casually interchanged spanking with deviant behavior. Take note that there were many kinds of behavior seen as problematic in that study including aggression, criminal and anti-social behavior. I do not condone any kind of violence and I’m actually very opposed to the idea of spanking children. However, I deal with adults and the impact that the adult spanking fetish has on our lives as adults. In actuality, most credentialed psychotherapists take the stance that spanking and fetish behavior is OK as long as it is kept between two consenting adults. The only time that fetish is seen as problematic is when the spanking behavior takes on obsessive-compulsive qualities. Oftentimes it is then treated as an addiction. Spanking may be considered troublesome if a person cannot ever engage in sexual, intimate activity unless spanking play is overtly present. Most of us hope and would like to have the ability to engage in ‘vanilla’ sex and be present with our partners without spanking. However, in reality, many spanking fetishists do report a need to think about some aspect of spanking in order to achieve orgasm. Some ‘experts’ see that inability as an issue; I personally believe that our private thoughts are our private thoughts. We can think about whatever we like; just as long as we don’t act on anything that would be inappropriate to the occasion. Ideally it’s great to have a partner who shares our enthusiasm for spanking but even then, sometimes it’s nice to just express love in a more conventional way. You have certainly come a long way since we started to meet. I remember you were so timid about wanting to get spanked and barely knew how to communicate your need. The fact that you now say that you are fulfilled by spanking play is very gratifying to me. We have spent so much quality time together and I really feel honored that you chose me to lead you down the path of your own spanking exploration. We have indeed found that good old-fashioned OTK spanking does in fact provide some of the feelings of nurturing that you lacked when young. Many people come to me and say that they want to be spanked because they ‘feel they got away with too much when they were kids.’ While they may think that it is the case, it is probably more accurate to say that they experienced feelings of being neglected or even ignored. Spanking is really about that feeling of being held, cared for and corrected for your own good. There is an enormous bond between spanker and spankee when the two are connected. I guess that’s why many people equate it with sexuality. Even though spanking play is not about sex or sexual contact the feeling of closeness is established when panties are pulled down and bare bottoms are smacked with care. Rose, I’m glad you found an outlet for spanking in your sessions with me. You know that once you step in my door you will be welcomed, treated with respect and have a guaranteed great spanking experience. You are in an occupation that requires absolute discretion; another reason I know that you originally sought to explore spanking with me. You are correct that spanking is deeply embedded into our personas and the charge we get from spanking play will never go away. That’s why I always contend that people who like spanking need to understand and get to a place of acceptance. Thank you again Rose and I look forward to a long, fun spanking relationship with you. Jacqueline, The interviews with the two couples were downright fascinating! I listened intently, absorbing everything I possibly could. I found it interesting that Marcus and Wednesday never really discussed spanking prior to engaging in it; one day he just spanked her. Even though Wednesday received some stringent punishment, I thought it was very sweet of Marcus to tell her to breathe during the spanking as he stroked her hair. When Wednesday began to sob uncontrollably, Marcus seemed to ease up a bit. His voice and gentle tone appeared to evoke the perfect emotional and mental response. The fact that he is so soft-spoken made it more obvious to the viewer that the spanking was done purely out of love. The “Real Couples” DVD demonstrates the type of trust between couples that I've only read about but have never been fortunate enough to experience myself. Perhaps I've expressed this to you before, but please allow me to say it again - Pacific Force has truly set the standard for spanking DVD's. Your DVD's are unsurpassed. Those spanking DVD's from other companies lack substance, creativity, style, and imagination. Thank you for such an informative site. Wishing you all of the best,
Dear Lena, Spanking is something that has been with me every since I can remember. I honestly thought it would be the secret I took to my grave. Instead, this sexual fetish has impacted ever aspect of my life and my lifestyle. It has opened up so many doors and avenues for me. Creating Pacific Force was an act of passion. I was extremely fortunate to find the perfect partner to help me bring my dreams and goals to life. Vinnie and I are extremely dedicated to creating quality spanking products that entertain as well as educate. “Real Couples, Real Spankings #3” is a true reflection of the direction we are taking our company. Both couples in this production are really and truly into spanking. They are not just acting for the camera. In fact, the couple in Scene 2, Kirk and Suzanne, were actually filmed over two years ago. Their interview was groundbreaking in that it provided a clear example of how a couple can successfully adapt spanking into an existing relationship. Suzanne was originally opposed to participating in adult spanking but her love for Kirk allowed her to open up to the idea. The intense level of play demonstrates her level of dedication to the spanking lifestyle. The scene with Kirk and Suzanne was so good that it actually took me two years to find another equally interesting couple to complete this DVD. I was very happy when Wednesday and Marcus approached me and stated that they specifically wanted to participate in a Pacific Force “Real Couples” production. Their interview and subsequent play reflect the bonding of spanker and spankee. Wednesday’s cathartic expression of tears and subspace captures the deep emotional impact that spanking interplays can foster. It’s reminiscent of very deep therapeutic work. It takes guts and commitment to share something so personal with the rest of the world. It is my hope that other couples will be inspired to come forward to and talk about their spanking relationships. I think these interviews are very beneficial to all of us. Thank you again for your thoughtful comments and support.
I haven't shown my husband yet but he knows I ordered the DVD. I tell him I like the idea of being spanked over his but he doesn't seem to take it too seriously. He sees it all as a joke. That hurts my feelings and it makes me not want to say anymore. Yet, like the girls in the DVD, I want to experience a real spanking. Any thoughts?
Hi Susie, I would encourage you to have him get "Real Couples, Real Spankings #3” and watch the second scene with Kirk and Suzanne. As you read in my previous letter, I think it’s one of the best examples of how relationships like yours learn to incorporate spanking into their lives. I have successfully met with and counseled many couples in your situation. I bet your husband just doesn’t understand. I think it’s time you really tried to communicate with him. He’d also like the results. A few minutes over his knee will get you so aroused that I’m sure you’d be happy to do some sexual things that he would enjoy. It’s a win/win situation. I’m glad you emailed me, as I know there are many women out there with similar issues. As females, it’s harder for us to discuss sexual matters. We were always taught to please and allow our men to take the lead. However, sometimes we need to work past our fears in order to get our needs met. Please email again and let me know how I can help.
As a male spanking devotee, it is my delight to spank on the bare. Of course I like to build up the spanking and start on the skirt, panties and make my way to the bare bottom. However, if I stay just on panties, it’s like going to a restaurant and only having an appetizer. I want the full meal. Please advise how I can get these women to bare their bottoms on the first try.
Dear Frank, Oh boy dare I say it? Your letter makes me want to take you over my knee. You sound like a true spoiled brat and you know what happens to impatient brats… You mention that you get to spank many women. I’m not sure how that happens but the fact that you get to play is something that many would envy. It appears that you do a good amount of playing on a causal level. That’s fine. But let me explain a few things to you. Spanking is a lot like sex. Baring a bottom during a first spanking experience is the same as going all the way on a first date. Some women are cool with that but most are not. Women are different than men in that they are generally modest. It’s a big deal to disrobe. I understand that bare bottom spanking is an important part of the ‘embarrassment’ of receiving a spanking but there are other facets as well. When a female allows you to spank her, she is really offering you a gift. She is making herself vulnerable to being over your knee and letting you take charge. Many people into spanking do get off on the humiliation of the nudity but many do not. Especially women. Women like the idea of being taken to task by a strong man who is spanking for her own good and correction. In many ways the male spanker takes on the father figure role and good man that she is yearning to have. It’s not about having her bottom exposed. Spanking relationships are like any other. They take time and patience to develop and grow. Oftentimes a first spanking experience is very much like a first date. Two people are getting together to see how they relate to each other. A pure spanking relationship is as complex as any other. Two people need to connect intellectually, emotionally and physically. The combination needs to be right in order for a true experience to take place. I think you need to be fair and give these women a chance to trust you. Once they feel comfortable, you can then discuss the subject of baring the bottom. Talk about their feelings and do your best to make them feel desirable and attractive. Tell them how much you enjoy bare bottom spankings. If they perceive you to be genuine and respectful, chances are good that in time they will give you the gift of delivering bare bottom punishment. This needs to be ascertained ahead of time and never done spontaneously. You are not entitled to just pull down a grown woman’s panties. That is highly rude. Now my question to you: What’s so bad about a panty spanking anyway? I happen to think the idea of a panty-clad bottom is very sexy. It also feels very good to spank on fluffy soft cotton or silky smooth nylon. Semi-nude is almost more exciting. You can see the outline of the bottom and feel the shape. It’s exciting to imagine the nakedness without actually seeing it in graphic detail. It also gives you something to work towards. Again this is the same as having sexual foreplay with someone a few times without actual intercourse. Anticipation leads to a more fulfilling experience once it actually occurs. Count your blessings, Frank. Spanking interaction is very special. We all need to appreciate the moments we have rather than agonizing over our own agendas. - Jacqueline
About a year or so ago I wrote my aunt who so called raised me, and really spilled my heart out to her. I told her how out of control I am, told her all the things I am doing now like: lying, temper tantrums, not listening, not taking no for an answer and being a general spoiled brat. I begged her to make up for lost time: “When I see you Aunt Edith please take me in my old room, and give me the spanking of my life. I really need one.” I told her if anyone can teach me a lesson it is she. My aunt wrote me back a couple of weeks later, and totally turned me down. It really hurt me. I really want this from her, and need this. Please let me know your response and how you think I can make this happen.
Dear Christy, First and foremost you are guaranteed to make her feel very uncomfortable. Your aunt would feel coerced and put on the spot. And please consider the incestual message. Asking your aunt to spank you would be the same as asking her to have sex with you. Though they are different, spanking is still a sexual turn on. Remember, it's OK to fantasize about whatever we want. However, putting things into action is not always correct. Adult spanking is between two adults who enjoy spanking interplay. Both people need to understand that this is an adult sexually charged activity. Even though professionals like myself, never engage in sex or intimate contact with their clients, the motivating force between all fetish activities is the sexual charge it creates. Though you may feel aroused at the idea of being spanked before, during and after the spanking the idea of having real sex in connection with a spanking encounter is not necessary. However, there is an arousing component attached to spanking and all fetish encounters. We all need to be aware and cognizant of others. It is simply not a good idea to share these spanking desires with people who do not understand or may even feel offended. Some of us have the fantasy of being spanked spontaneously by someone we encounter in our real life such as a co-worker, neighbor or service provider. However, unless these people are true spankos trying to get them to participate without awareness is really coercion. I understand that the kind of punishment spanking may feel fabricated if given by your husband. You have a different kind of relationship with him. Your best bet is to see a professional Disciplinarian such as myself. This impartial disciplinarian will be able to provide the experience and feeing of real punishment that you are seeking. You can go either with or without your husband. However, before you go anywhere, make sure you feel comfortable with the woman. Make sure she’s experienced and understanding of your needs. If you decide to go alone, let your husband know where you are going. That way you are safer and you aren’t keeping a secret from him. I’m really glad you contacted me before you made a huge irreversible mistake. Hi Jacqueline, I've noticed that in many of your other DVD's, the women aren't too resistant while they are getting spanked. Not true in “Spanked Asian Girls #3”. These holy terrors are the exception! I liked the first scene where Mia throws the telescope on the floor and then says that she's not sorry after all. I was wondering how you would've dealt with that situation had you been her boss. Something tells me that you wouldn't deal with tantrums very well, that's just a guess. Thank you for making such awe-inspiring DVD's; again, you're incredible!
Hi Lena, I applaud the fact that you are doing your own research about what spanking means to you. You are finding happiness in watching the productions and communicating with other spanking people. You are exploring something that has been with you all your life. I think it’s good to examine your feelings about spanking and what part it will or won’t play in your life. You are a thoughtful young lady and it shows in your writing. I’m so happy that our DVDs and website are guiding you in this very personal, very important self-exploration. Hi Jacqueline, Barbara's letter piqued my interest (Volume #31). With any luck, Barbara will take your advice and your comments to heart. I really enjoyed reading your utterly forthright response. It's troubling to know that the extreme spanking urge often has the potential to supercede one's own rationality. Sadly, one's lack of vigilance may lead to unfavorable consequences.
Hi Lena, Yes, I know what you mean about thoughts and orgasming. Sometimes the thoughts we have are not necessarily what we want in real life. I guess that's why they are called fantasies!!! And fantasies don't necessarily need to turn into realities. Sometimes we wonder why we think the way we do. I think perhaps fantasies and dreams are inter-related. Like dreams, the fantasies are an expression of feelings. These intense feelings are translated by the brain and interpreted as sexual feelings. Fear is particularly powerful and that’s why many women imagine being overpowered and raped. It has nothing to do with the actual event. Rather, it’s the deep intense feelings that the brain connects as an orgasmic release. Who knows? The point is - it's OK to think about whatever you think about!
I also do a lot of “bratting” with my partner and it has lead to a lot of playful exciting spankings. I sometimes call him Master Mickey Mouse if I want to get a really hard spanking, LOL. I do things like act defiant, and stick out my tongue at him as well.
Dear Sarah, I am looking forward to seeing you and your reactions when I finally meet up with you and your partner. I think you better get prepared to have a very well spanked bottom. Thank you all for your letters. I enjoy hearing from you. Remember this is a community. Sharing with others helps educate and leads to self-understanding about our unique interest in adult spanking. Feel free to reference and refer to any letter posted.
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